Florida Project: Water Damage

I set up my home office in front of the front window overlooking the neighborhood. As I work, I can enjoy the Florida landscape. On Wednesday, a huge vulture landed on the front yard, gobbled up a gecko, and then took flight. Later in the afternoon, two 3 foot cranes walked down the sidewalk and passed the house, and continued down the street. They looked like they were just two neighbors out for a stroll.

 

After work we ate dinner at the Golden Corral. While most people found their own seats, a waitress asked us to follow her. She sat my family of four at a table that could hold ten people. I thought that was odd. But then I noticed she was setting up signs on her other tables that said “Reserved” and telling people they couldn’t sit in her section.  I realized what was going on: she was attempting to reduce her work load.  This appeared successful through our entire meal until other waitresses came to her and got into an argument. Apparently, the other waitresses didn’t appreciate the clever work avoidance that was being used.

 

With our bellies over-stuffed with food, we went to the Fantasia Miniature Golf. We had never been there before and had a great time. Our yearly pass gave us 50% off the cost, which was a very nice bonus. Afterward, we swung through a grocery store to get a few more cases of water, and then headed home.

 

We arrived home and the family headed indoors while I unloaded the cases of water from the van.

 

In Florida, it becomes very hot. Proper watering of the lawn and landscaping is essential. But watering can be a lot of work, so, the standard practices is to use an automated sprinkler system. The sprinklers are strategically deployed around the house for the maximum coverage of the lawn and bushes.

 

As I carried the second case of water to the house, the sprinkler system turned on and hit me. You have probably seen in movies when the sprinklers turn on, people caught in them start dancing around as their pants get sprinkled on. That is not what happened to me. At all. There is a tall palm tree in the front yard. Near the front door, there is a water cannon that sprays the top of the tree, and shoots water across the entire front yard extended all the way to the street. I mention it is a cannon because of the incredible velocity necessary to fire the water such incredible distances.

 

As I headed to the front door with my case of water in my hands, the water cannon turned on and fired a blast into my chest. I was in the line of fire as the stream of water began exploding from the nozzle. It hit me so hard and was so unexpected and the ground was so wet that it knocked me off my feet. I hit the ground flat on my back and cracked my head on the ground. But that is not the end of the story. You might recall that I had been caring a case of water. Because I had been knocked to the ground, I was no longer caring the case of water. The case was now airborn. And landed on my head.

 

I pushed the case of water off my face. In the dark of night I tried to determine if I was covered in blood or water, because now the smaller sprinklers had turned on and were drenching me thoroughly at this point. The smaller sprinklers were just adding insult to my injuries. Luckily, other than being a little sore? No damage was done. Except perhaps to my pride.

 

They say that parts of Florida have high crime rates. That might not be true for the area we are staying at. But I can now return to New York and proudly proclaim that I was shot while in Florida. Yes. Shot with a water cannon. But shot nonetheless.